Scientists tell us that losing weight is a simple equation (calories-in LESS calories-out). They must be men-scientists because they clearly have not accounted for the complex constraints and mystical physiology of a woman. I swear I can gain weight just by enjoying the sweet aroma of a bakery. I can lose weight by surviving a seriously bad day. AND I am subject to the anxiety of a “Fat Day” despite the scale reporting that my weight has remained constant.
AND who decided that the calories should be measured by the day? I decided it should be a weekly calculation – that way if you run over one day, there is hope that you can make up for overeating by eating less the next day. Not sure it works, but it definitely reduces the end-of-the-day guilt when you add up your calories and you realize you are 1,600 calories over for a person twice your size.
So many people now are slapping the Fitbit devices to their bodies and measuring their daily output. I tried a Fitbit, but quickly learned that just because my Fitbit says that I burned 580 calories in the morning doesn’t mean I should reward myself with a 580 calorie slice of cheesecake at noon.
I have always struggled with that last 5 pound (0k, maybe 10). The pounds that will prevent me from ever feeling the dreaded “FAT DAY” – the day when you pull out your “Fat Jeans” and praise the brilliant person that decided to put spandex in blue jeans. My solution was the “Green Diet”. My Green Diet transforms me from wearing my “Fat Girl 
Jeans” to looking fabulous in a little black dress in 3 days. The basic premise is eat everything green in abundance. Apples, Lettuce, Peas, Cucumbers….Sometimes your mouth just needs to chew, so crunch away on a bed of lettuce with cucumbers. Yes, I do agree it is awful BUT, the best part about my Green Diet is that APPLE MARTINIS ARE GREEN. Therefore, at the end of the day, you can reward yourself with an Apple Martini. Be careful only to have one, because with a stomach full of celery and greens it will go right to your head.
The best way for me to lose weight is stress. I am domestically challenged and hate grocery shopping. My dietary restrictions are that a meal must not make a mess of my car when I eating & driving (and I drive a stick-shift). It is one less thing to worry about if I just eat the same foods daily. Food & meals become a standard routine. No “what’s for dinner” decisions. And yes, crackers and cheese on a paper plate does qualify as dinner and is easily consumed while driving. Since my meals and food intake don’t change, there must be some grounded scientific theory as to how it is possible for me to lose 8 pounds in 3 days while consuming the same foods. The only answer is STRESS.
The good news is that rescuing horses brings on a certain (and constant) degree of stress. I haven’t had a “Fat Day” since I started the Equine Rescue Network in 2009. Nothing is more stressful than coordinating rescues. When the trailer is in Texas to pick up horses that need to go to Pennsylvania and one of the rescued horses is in labor; OR a killbuyer won’t sell you a horse he just bought at auction (the three year old with sweet eyes tied to the wall with no food or water) OR escalating vet bills and having to decide how much you want to pay in vet bills for an unwanted horse – when is it time to pull the plug to save funds to rescue another? OR getting a blown out tire with 3 rescues on the trailer just outside of NYC OR the overly passionate rescuers who has more passion than productivity that constantly attacks you because “ERN should be doing more” OR asking for donations to help a mare & foal in Louisiana and receiving only $35 in 24 hours. Then watching the trailer to Mexico pull away.
My point here is – if you want to lose that extra ten pounds you have been struggling with – I suggest you go out there and doing something BIG, and risky – outside your comfort zone. The next time you find yourself putting on your Fat Girl Jeans – go rescue a horse, a dog, volunteer, donate, fundraise for a 501c3, or get out into the world and do something fabulous and wonderful for someone/something other than yourself. Burn calories finding your purpose. Take off your fitbit, stop micro-managing your calories and start running to catch up with a new life.
I am not that kind of doctor but it certainly has helped for me.
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